QUOTE:
I&#039;m not a big fan of the Old Bill at the best of times.. back in February, I was in Bristol for a mate&#039;s birthday. We went out on the town things got a little out of hand, 1 drink, 5 drinks, and like every bad night, we ended up in the middle of a sweaty dance floor in a club called (I think) The Lizard Lounge. I picked up a pretty thing who clearly wasn&#039;t put off by my Napoleon Dynomite moves and should have known better. A lot better. Anyway, turns out she was into bikes. The next morning, I woke worse for wear in my mate&#039;s spare room and sprawled out next to me was the girl from last night, let&#039;s call her Sarah. As I made a morning cuppa, just looking at my TL1000s - let alone riding it - made me feel ill, but promises are promises..<br /><br />We went out for a quick blast and then navigated our way back to hers. I was hoping for a quick exit, but before I could get my lid off, her Dad had arrived on the scene. He was looking around my bike. &quot;Aha, a biker - I thought.. result!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Your exhausts are a bit loud, your numberplate is too small and it&#039;s filthy too..&quot; were his first words. Ok then.. I made a cheeky comment about the exhausts saving my life as I strapped the spare bike gear onto the pillion seat with a bungee. Not one for being bollocked, I fired up the TL pronto - me and my loud cans and tiny plate made a swift exit.<br /><br />It wasn&#039;t until I got back to my mate&#039;s house that I found out Sarah&#039;s Dad was a big cheese in the Avon &amp; Somerset Police. Nice of her to tell me.. Lucky escape I thought.. that is, until Monday morning when I left my mates house to head up the M4 home, but I only managed to get to the end of his road before I was pulled over by, you guessed it, the Old Bill. <br /><br />I was made to produce for illegal cans, a small plate and they tried to get me on a bald rear tyre too. The word I&#039;m looking for right now starts with W and rhymes with Anchor. So, now Mr. Barnest (or Sergeant or whatever it is your called) you&#039;ll be glad to know my plate is a bit bigger now - it&#039;s still dirty, but nowhere near as dirty as your daughter and I hear she&#039;s still handing out the &#039;producers&#039; to the lads around Bristol every Friday night..<br /><br />So that&#039;s my bit for Police/Biker relations. My work here is done..