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No matter what make you ride, it's all the same wind!
The difference between Harley riders and Goldwing drivers
Harley riders:
"Live to ride. Ride to Live."
Goldwing drivers:
"Eat to ride. Ride to eat
Harley riders:
"Loud pipes save lives. "
Goldwing drivers:
"Honey, will you turn down the radio?"
Harley riders:
Black leather jacket and chaps
Goldwing drivers:
Red snowmobile suit
Harley riders:
Black leather vest with chain
closure and skull and lightning
bolt on the back
Goldwing drivers:
Gray twill vest with trading pins and
Gold Wing Road Riders Association chapter
patch on the back
Harley riders:
Meets other riders at "The Dam
Ice House"
Goldwing drivers:
Meets other riders at Denny'
Harley riders:
Biker Mama on the back.
Goldwing drivers:
HER Mama on the back.
Harley riders:
Cross city ride ends at topless bar.
Goldwing drivers:
Cross country ride ends at Dairy Queen.
Harley riders:
National riders group meeting called "Hog Rally".
Goldwing drivers:
International group affair called "Wing Ding".
Harley riders:
Riding in groups of two.
Goldwing drivers:
Riding in groups of twenty.
Harley riders:
Ape hanger bars and (proctologists dream) splinter seats.
Goldwing drivers:
Big wide seats for big wide butts.
Harley riders:
Rolling thunder.
Goldwing drivers:
BarcoLounger with wheels
Harley riders:
Dew rags covering up steel plate in the head
from riding without a helmet. But looking COOL.
Goldwing drivers:
Helmet with headset and microphones, covered
in reflective patches
Harley riders:
"This beer is flat, let's trash the place."
Goldwing drivers:
"This cappuccino is cold. Let's only tip 10%."
Harley riders:
"This beer is flat, let's trash the place."
Goldwing drivers:
"This cappuccino is cold. Let's only tip 10%."
Top Ten Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave Back
10. Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
9. Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
8. Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
5. Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
4. Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner
manufacturers.
3. Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
1. They're jealous that after spending $30,000, they still don't own a Gold Wing.
Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don't Wave Back
10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture .
9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip .
8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm .
7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
6. The expresso machine just finished .
5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved .
4. Was in a three-way conference call with stock broker and accessories dealer .
3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.
2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD player, seat temperature
and satellite navigation system .
1. Couldn't find the "auto wave back" button on dashboard.
98% of all Harleys ever sold are still on the road......
The rest of them made it home.
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Why do Harley riders always extend their hands down when they pass?
They are not waving. They are catching parts that are falling off.
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What is the difference between a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?
...The Hoover can only carry ONE dirtbag!
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What do a hound dog and a Harley-Davidson have in Common?
1) They have the same initials (HD)
2) They both spend a lot of time in the back of your pickup truck
3) They both leave spots on your living room carpet!
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What is the difference between the dog and the Harley?
The dog can get in the back under it’s own power.
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15 Reasons a Gold Wing would be stopped along the road
1. The cappuccino machine needs cleaning.
2. His co-rider fell asleep and he hated to wake her.
3. He needed to put 10 new CDs in to the CD changer.
4. The refrigerator mounted on the trailer hitch can’t keep the ice cream frozen on hot days so he stopped to eat it.
5. He had a fax coming in on the first line, so he thought he’d better disconnect the modem from the second line in case someone was trying to reach him on the helmet phone.
6. The last big bump made the lazy boy seat come to a full upright position, so he had to stop and adjust it.
7. His tax accountant has scheduled a conference call with his portfolio manager, and he wanted to take a few notes.
8. He just crossed a time zone and he needed to reset the VCR to record the right program for him to watch tonight.
9. His A/C vents were pointed too far into the wind stream to keep him cool.
10. He has a 200-mile gas tank range but a 175-mile bladder range.
11. He stopped to take the chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, but now the ice cream is all gone, so what can he eat with them?
12. He was confirming tonight’s reservation at the Hilton 800 miles ahead.
13. He wanted to color in another state on his travel map.
14. He had a bug splattered on his chrome and he needed to polish it before it dried on.
15. He stopped to help the Harley that was stopped along the road
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What is the difference between a Gold Wing and a logging truck?
1. About 40 pounds and a stuffed animal.
2. Logging trucks don’t throe sparks when they go around corners.
3. Logging trucks need all their lights.
4. Logging trucks will usually pull over to let you pass.
5. Logging trucks must stop at weigh stations.
6. Logging trucks don’t all look alike.
7. Logging trucks are not as wide.
8. Nobody ever built a three wheel logging truck.
9. You can’t get a 400-pound woman on a logging truck.
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Motorcycle wisdom
-Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
-It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
-Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
-Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
-Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.
-A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover. (AMEN!!!)
-When you look down the road, it seems to never end-but you better believe it does.
-Winter is Natures way of telling you to polish.
-Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your motorcycle
-Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.
-When you're riding lead--don't spit.
-If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead.
-If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.
-There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
-Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
-You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike. Don't do it and she'll love you even more.
-Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.
-There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO old, drunk bikers.
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1. Takeoffs are optional; Stopping is mandatory.
2. Never try to drive farther than your fuel will allow.
3. When in doubt, stay home. No one ever suffered major injuries from a head-on with a remote control.
4. There are good stops and there are great stops. Any stop you can walk away from is a good one. A great one, you can drive your wing away from.
5. Learn from the mistakes of others, you may not live through yours.
6. Your probability of survival is directly and inversely proportional to your angle and speed of arrival to the stopping object. The higher the speed and closer to head-on, the less chance of survival.
7. Never let your Wing take you someplace your brain hasn't spent at least 15 seconds.
8. In the eternal conflict between objects of plastic and steel moving at speed and the ground, the ground has yet to loose.
9. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately experience comes from bad judgement. See rule #3
10. Keep looking around there's always something you missed.
11. Remember that gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law, and one that doesn't break easily.
12. Remember thy Co-rider for they are the bearers of great pleasure if you get it right and even greater suffering if you get it wrong.
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